The bro code has been around for centuries.

Nay, whatever is more than a century

-Barny Stinson

List of Brocodes

• Bros before Hoes – A ‘Hoe’ is defined as any woman that is not your wife or direct family.
• A Bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his Bros are doing it.
• If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least knee height when fully grown.
• Whether a Bro is in to sports or not they pick a team and support them until their dying breath.
• A Bro shall not gaze at a naked Bro.
• A Bro never sends a birthday card to another Bro.
• A Bro is honor bound to aid his Bros with DIY and moving house.
• Bros do not share dessert.
• If a Bro leads a beer/food run they are entitled to all left over change.
• A Bro doesn’t allow another Bro to get married until they are at least thirty years old.
• A Bro never dances with their hands above their head.
• A Bro will not sleep with another Bro’s sister. However, a Bro is allowed to be vocal about her level of attractiveness.
• A Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.
• Bros don’t make eye-contact during a Devil’s Three-way.
• A Bro never rents a chick flick.
• Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.
• A Bro never cries.
• A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro.
• A Bro never wears pink underwear.
• A Bro never publicly reveals how many people another Bro has slept with.
• A Bro is not required to remember another Bro’s birthday.
• A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on Saint Patrick’s Day.
• A Bro doesn’t grow a mustache.
• A Bro will make any and all effort to provide his Bro with a condom when they score.
• A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks.
• A Bro ALWAYS enhances another Bro’s job description when introducing him.
• A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.
• If a Bro buys a new car he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.
• If a Bro for whatever reason needs to drive another Bro’s car, they shall not adjust the pre-programmed radio stations.
• A Bro shows up to a party with at least one more unit of alcohol than they plan to drink.
• Bros start at least one fire a year.
• If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret he shall take that secret to his grave.
• A Bro never wears socks with sandals.
• The mom of a Bro is always off-limits.
• When a Bro isn’t invited to another Bro’s wedding, they don’t make a big deal about it.
• A Bro doesn’t sing along to music in a bar.
• ‘Clothing optional’ doesn’t really mean ‘clothing optional’ to Bros.
• A Bro shall not damage another Bro’s chances to score.
• A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control.
• A Bro is never vegan.
• If a Bro fails a challenge, it’s ALWAYS the equipment’s fault.
• Every Bro knows a Bro who is the worlds best at something.
• When a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he is honor bound to first ask what condition the car is in.
• When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros.
• A Bro shall seek no revenge if they pass out around their Bros and wake up to find their body covered in drawings and shaving foam.
• A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email.
• A Bro doesn’t listen to chick music… in front of other Bros.
• A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars.
• It is NEVER acceptable for a Bro to sleep with another Bro’s ex.
• Bros don’t quote Oscar Wilde.
• A Bro always admits when they farted.
• A Bro will always verify another Bro’s story when they are trying to score.
• If your team beats your Bro’s team you have 24 hours to rub it in.
• A Bro always takes a piss standing up.
• A Bro never catches a cold. Bros are struck down with Man Flu.
• If a Bro finds his Bro’s girlfriend repulsive, they shall not say anything until they have broken up.
• A Bro never gives another Bro the silent treatment.
• A Bro always has his Bro’s back.
• Women can also be a Bro.
• A Bro DOES NOT masturbate in front of other Bros.
• When a Bro asks another Bro to look after their drink, that Bro never tampers with it. Pranks NEVER involve another Bro’s drink.
• A Bro doesn’t unfriend his Bro on Facebook while in a huff.
• All Bros are required to take turns as the “designated driver.”
• Bros don’t wax their body hair.
• A Bro is not expected to notice another Bro’s new haircut.
• A Bro never asks another Bro to come with them to the bathroom.
• A Bro never wears Crocs.
• Bros DO NOT pout for selfies.
• All Bros are distracted by the number 69 and it’s sexual meaning, rendering all Bros unable to read anything immediately after this number.
• A Bro never uses another Bro’s toothbrush.
• Bros don’t use umbrellas.
• A Bro DOES NOT choose his own nickname. A nickname, good or bad, is bestowed upon you by your fellow Bros.
• Bros take care of their fellow Bros when they have too much to drink.
• Bro of a Bro is a Bro to you.
• When a Bro has a kid his Bros become honorary uncles.
• A Bro never keeps a photo of their Bro in his wallet.
• A Bro does not allow his Bro to drunk dial or text his ex.
• Bros don’t wear skinny jeans.
• A Bro ALWAYS honors a bet.
• A Bro is honor bound to accept all arm wrestling challenges.
• Bros pay for their dates.
• Bros don’t stop to smell flowers.
• Bros don’t touch another Bro’s drink without express permission.
• Bros don’t break up chick fights until a sufficient amount of clothing has been pulled off.
• A Bro will ALWAYS watch a movie narrated by Morgan Freeman.
• At a Bro’s funeral, all other Bros toast with the deceased’s drink of choice.
• When a Bro wants to do something stupid, first try to talk the Bro out of it. If you don’t succeed, you film it.
• A Bro must NEVER impede on a Bro’s ability to suit up.
• ALL conversations between Bros are subject to ‘Bro-to-Bro confidentiality’.
• A bro cannot give another Bro a teddy bear.
• Bros shall never, under any circumstances, go and see a chick-flick alone.
• A Bro does not dare or challenge another Bro to do anything they wouldn’t try themselves.
• A Bro and a Brother are not the same thing.
• A Bro never rearranges the dishes at another Bro’s house.
• Paint Balling is the ONLY combat scenario in which a Bro’s balls are not off limits.
• When a Bro leaves his seat, that seat becomes vacant and cannot be reclaimed if another Bro takes it.
• Bros shall not wear a Fanny Pack/Bum Bag.
• A Bro never leaves another Bro behind.
• A Bro never makes eye-contact with another Bro while eating a banana.
• Dibs cannot be implied, you must call Dibs in front of witnesses for any said Dibs to be valid.
• When playing or responding to a prank, a Bro’s car is off limits.
• If you catch your Bro’s partner cheating, you immediately tell your Bro, regardless of any shit-storm that may arise.
• A Bro always has a condom in their wallet.
• All Bros like steak.
• Bros don’t take selfies while taking a dump.
• A Bro never lets his brokenhearted Bro drink alone.
• A Bro never tickles another Bro.
• A Bro always offers his Bros a drink when getting one for themselves.
• Bros wear their pants/trousers above their ass.
• Bros don’t use a photo of their pet or child as their profile picture.
• A Bro doesn’t get lost, he merely finds an alternate route.
• If a Bro wins a trophy that can be used as a cup they will drink alcohol out of it as soon as possible.
• Bros don’t giggle.
• Bros don’t wear turtlenecks.
• If Bros share a house/apartment all Bros are obligated to leave for a while if a fellow Bro brings their date home to score.
• A Bro NEVER, under ANY circumstances, attempts to get with another Bro’s partner.
• Bros don’t touch each other’s hair.
• When a Bro offers another Bro chewing gum, that offer is for two or more pieces.
• Bro’s don’t smell each other on purpose.
• A Bro is NEVER afraid to fail.
• If a Bro injures themselves while lifting weights, fellow Bros will add more weights before calling the ambulance.
• Bros do not share a drink or popcorn at the cinema.
• Bros only comment on a fellow Bro’s fashion choice if that choice will affect their ability to get laid.
• All Bros have an interest in some sort of weaponry.
• A Bro shall never engage in any sexual activity with a Girl-Bro.
• A Bro will always tell their fellow Bro if they discover the girl they like is interested in someone else.
• A Bro is honor bound to accept any and all “manhood testing” challenges.